Untamed!

Wild! Crazy! Me Never. I have prided myself for so long on being in control, calm, respectable.

Oh what a lie that is!! It seems that everything I have been learning lately has been about being bold, being wild, being untamed--all to be more like Christ!

Why do I always want to do the respect thing and not the right thing? Why do I want safety rather than following the calling of God? Why be a "good girl" and not goodness, kindness and all those other fruit of the spirit?

Why do I value self-protection over a good adventure?

I'm ready God ! Make me who you want me to be. take me where you want me to go! Make me Untamed!
I'm ready for battle! I'm ready to be all that you want be to be.

I'm Untamed!

DEEPER into the WORD New Testament by Keri Wyatt Kent

 This is a book that I have been reading for the last month. I haven't finished it but it is really a book that I'm not sure you would ever really finish.Let me explain. The book is a  "Reflection so 100 Words from the New Testament" so the subtitle of the book says. That is how it is set up, not in chapters except for an introduction and a closing appendix, but just one word study after another.

I recently had the opportunity to become a book reviewer for Baker publishing, so I chose this book because I had heard of the author and through it looked intriguing. I received this book from the publisher. It is not something that I would normally buy. I tend to be attracted to books that are more "psychological" in nature but they usually are the author's premise supported by God's work in their own life. I think after reading this book--I may challenge myself in what I read.

Keri Wyatt Kent understand that this book is not normal to be read and finished. She sees her book as a "tool to help you understand both the words and their context so that you can engage in the spiritual discipline of the study of God's word". She then gives three uses for her book: A reference volume to look up words you come across in your reading of Scripture, a study guide to launch your own study of specific words, and as a devotional.

For me, she does achieve these goals. I loved her word studies, and scripture really did come to life through her descriptions of the Greek words. It makes the reading of Scripture have greater depth and understanding then English gives value to it. A good test for me in reading is "Do I want to read Scripture more? Do I love Jesus more? Does this book inspire me to read other books?". I think this book motivated me to want to read the scripture and see a bigger more loving Jesus? Also I want to read many of the books that she quotes.

Secondly, this book does inspire my own desire for word study. I have all the tools that I need for word study. The appendix offers excellent resources for word study both online and in books. I have done some word study through courses I have taken in the past and  through some Kay Arthur Precept Studies. I have seen the value in them, but I must admit I stop the process when the study is over. My Vine's Concise Dictionary and my Strong's Exhaustive Concordance are gathering dust on my book shelf. So this book reminds me of the value of stopping and looking at the words when reading the word.

I think I mostly used this book as a devotional. I have been a Christian for many years so many of these words are par to f my everyday vocabulary. However, I think there is deeper meaning to them and these words need to grow in meaning in my life. I must say here that I do not always agree with Mrs. Kent's conclusions. I think we come form very different doctrinal views. I think God plays a bigger part in our salvation and we play a smaller part--but I can still learn from her. I think this book would be an excellent tool to mentor a new Christian or someone just beginning to regularly read the Scriptures for themselves.

So what will I do with this book? I will first continue to use it as a devotional. I'll get it out in my own personal study or a group study when we are discussing the meaning of the words. Then I want to use it as a guide in my own word study.

I think that not matter where you are in reading the word, this would be a good tool to have to expand your reading of the scriptures.

Fiesta!!

I have a love affair with dishes.

 I would love to collect all kinds of dishes, but I tend to limit it to Fiestaware.

 It is a little bid crazy--my love of Fiestaware.

 It started with My Great grandma's house as a little girl.

She had this cabinet where she kept all her dishes. There they were in all their bright, multicolored glory.

 I think my Grandma Bates's house to me always represented home and safety. We never lived nearby growing up. We were always the out-of-town grandchildren.

Grandma Bates's house is where people gathered.

You'd walk in and she always started feeding you.

She always said she had nothing to eat--but things would start coming out of the refrigerator.

 Lunch meat first, then the home-made noodles that she made the other day, the homemade rolls, and she did have a few pies lying around somewhere.

Then there was always some special treat in the cookie jar for the children.

The children of course my siblings, my cousins, my mom, her siblings, her cousins. My Grandma and her siblings. We were all children at Grandma Bates's house.

My whole life she always lived alone (minus a two year journey to her daughter's house--which resulted in her moving back home alone)--yet she always cooked and cooked and cooked.

I live alone and I only cook when I have to take food somewhere or if I think someone may come over. Maybe she was just always welcomed people into her home.

So my great-grandma died a few days shy of my thirtieth birthday. Most everyone wanted the cookie jar, I wanted the Fiestaware(it was original but chipped--the value was in my heart).

all was auctioned off to strangers

A few years before that I started buying Fiesta ware.

Usually serving piece seconds at a pottery outlet.

Then I started getting serving pieces for holidays from my family.

Then when I bought my house-my Mom started buying me place settings.

Then my sister and friend did too. The collection grew.

In the last few years, I have stopped buying much, mostly because I have more than my little house will hold.

Yet, I want more.

I tend to be pretty conservative and pretty country cottage in my decorating style.

So the Fiestaware to me is my little bit spicy

.I think it is my personality coming out--I want to be a little bit sassier than I am.

I guess there are worst ways to express this than through dishes.

Leading Lady?

I love the movie The Holiday.

There is some immorality that I don't approve of but I like the idea that you can get away from your comfort zone and make a change in your life.

For Kate Winslet's character, she is escaping her ex-boyfriend who she is still in love with and to whom she is stuck as the best friend. She meets an old Hollywood screen writer and begins a journey of self-discovery. The screenwriter explains to her that in movies there are best friends and leading ladies.

She begins to ask herself is she the leading lady in her own life.

 I think this is a question that I need to ask myself.

Do I star in my own life and not just be the side-kick?

I'm not talking about being selfish,but being the person in my life who takes action.

I find that often my life events are because of other people.

 Other people's feelings for me, other people's wants, and other people sins.

I even have trouble deciding where to go out to eat and often just go with the flow.

So how do I balance not being selfish with starring in my own life?

 How do I take more risks?

 How do I be a responder and not always the giver?

Do I even let myself be captivated by God's love?

I think I need to take a risk and be the leading lady, in my life, in some man's life and even to God.

 I am His and He is mine.

Two old Friends!

OOPS!!! I can't believe I said that. I can't believe they came out of my mouth. I cannot believe I said that to someone I adore. I thought I was only annoyed but out came all my anger. There they were those two old friends--still with me--still inside of me--still waiting to fire dastardly darts at whoever gets in my way.

I have always been a good girl--yet for some reason I have always struggled with cursing. I in fact have always called it my revealing sin--when they start to trip out I realize that I need to submit to God--that I am off track.

Yet why today--I feel that I am growing closer to God. I am really understanding the power of the gospel in my life.

I guess the truth is that my true sin is not that I let the two old friends come to visit--but that I thought I was too much of a good girl, too righteous to say them.

Oh Lord forgive me for my self-righteousness. Thank you that I need a savior, not for my past, but for my present and for my future. Thank you that the gospel is for me-whether I'm being good or cursing like a sailor.

I pray for restoration of my relationship with this person you have blessed me with.

Grasping  His Grace and My Sin,
Dawn

Table for One

I am single. I am 43. This is not what I thought my life would be. It is the gift that God has given me for this time. I am open to it changing anytime.


Married people like to tell me that my life is easy. Sometimes I think it is. These same married friends tell me about them not being able to balance their checkbook, mow their lawn. Things that they do not know how to do and their husbands do for them. I just try to figure all of these things out for myself.
February and all the talk of love, can be a hard time. I try to love on some other people to not be caught up in the love hype.



I recently read a blog about how hard it is to want a baby and all your friends are having them. For me singleness is also about infertility. The children your heart longs for and you are pretty sure that you will never have.

I am obsessed with adoption blogs. I have always longed to adopt. I am not sure it is right or good to do this on you own. Plus I never seem to be in the right place in my life.

Sometimes I just want to go out to eat or spontaneously go to a movie--but who wants to do it by yourself. I know those with children don't get to do these things either, but a night with the kids sounds dreamy.

Not that I don't like the perks of being single. Watch what you want. Stay up all night reading. Sleep when you want to. Hog all the covers. Getting to be the aunt--who my nieces and nephews call to entertain them or play with them.

I want to be loved. I am so loved by God--yet I am not that great in basking in his love. Would I really believe that someone loved me if they did.

I want someone to love. Yet I am terrible at showing those I love that I do. Plus I do not adore my Lord as I should. Yet he loves me.

I think the hardest part is that you are going through this life alone. I am surrounded by family and friends. I believe in the power of the body of Christ to work together. Some times the loneliest part is leaving somewhere and seeing families leave and its just you.
People talk of taking care of their parents--and I wonder how I will do this. I tease my nieces they need to take care of me when I am old. Yet I do fear this.

I know this is a sad post but sometimes I just have to be honest. I have loved many things about my life thus far. I will still love my life if I remain single, if I never adopt children. I just want to admit that the longing is there.

Loved by Him,
Dawn

A New Year, A New Word?

So I heard this idea on KLOVE radio station to come up with a word as a goal for the year.

Last year my word was Welcome. I decided it after the fact but it kept coming to me thoughout the year.

So I have been playing around with what words I want to aim to be more like this year. I keep coming back to Lover or Transparent.

I think I am going to settle on "Lover", not in any sexual way at all, but I just want to Love God more--I want Jesus to be my passion. I also want to pour into people by loving them where they are and using my life and experience to build into them.