Let Every Heart Prepare Him Room!

It is almost Christmas. I think it is going to be a very quiet Christmas. I hope so!

Last night,I sat and reflected on what Advent means to me.  What does it look like to prepare for Jesus coming as a baby? Is there room in my hear for Jesus! What does the Incarnation to me?

I have been reading Organic God by Margaret Feinberg. It sprung the idea that incarnation means that he is living in me.

This heart with Him living in me wants to make room for others. My heart is breaking with the plight of women throughout the world who die in childbirth from infections or from fistulas. My heart breaks for the orphan who needs a family.

What do I do about this? Do I go? Do I sponsor? Do I think about adoption or foster care?

I want Jesus to break my heart for all these things!

Joy to the World the Lord is come let earth receive her King. Let every heart prepare him room and Heaven and Nature Sing.

Lord I'm singing!

Merry Christmas!!

Dawn

Christmas Shopping for a Cause!

So Saturday night I was a little bored, and I had a busy day. I decided to go to my local Target store to just roam around and get some early Christmas ideas for my nieces and nephews.

I always buy my niece Mackenzie a doll. I saw these beautiful multicultural dolls.  http://www.hearts4heartsgirls.com/media/

They teach girls about different countries and the cost of them goes to support World Vision. I think this is a great way to teach girls about life not here. Girls cannot also go online and learn about the girls lives.

What a great idea! I didn't buy it but I will definitely purchase one or more of these six lovelies.

I received no endorsement of any kind for this post.

My Life and Lesser Catastrophies A memoir by Christina Schofield

What is a memoir? It is a reflection. it is not the complete story,but a perspective. It is what God has done in our lives, or is doing in our lives.
The subtitle of this book is an "unflinchingly honest journey of Faith". That is what I liked about this book, Christina Schofield is not afraid to tell her story. She's not afraid to share her disappointment when things don't work out when they are supposed. She's not afraid to share the fact that God 's will for us is that everything goes smoothly.
What is her story. She is married to Allen, a Christian student minister and has one child. She works as an illustrator in Christian publishing. her life seemed to be the American Christian dream, until one morning they are taking a belated anniversary ride on their motorcycle and hit some gravel. They are both injured. Christina has a concussion and Allen is left paralyzed.
She then wrestles with whether God is still faithful and still good. She wants God to heal her husband physically but does he have other plans for them? She learns to rely on God's presence in her life.
I sometimes struggled reading this book. I think I wanted Christina to see God's faithfulness faster. I haven't really had a life where I could relate to her feeling that bad things hadn't happened to her until this moment. My life has been messy and I've grown up trusting God to guide me through these days and not because my days are good, but He is.
In the end this is what Christina learns and her story isn't over. I can't not like her story because it is her story, my story is different.
 I am glad that people are willing to share God working in them. That God loves us....He writes our story...Maybe it isn't happy ever after...He is the hero and we are loved...
What is your story???

I received no compensation for this review of this book, other than a free copy of this book from Chosen, a division of Baker Publishing Group.

Wonderland Creek by Lynn Austin

Can you read too much? Can you be so lost in stories that you forget to live life? This is the dilemma of the heroine Alice of Wonderland Creek.
She loses her job, her boyfriend breaks up with her because he thinks she is out of touch with people. Is there nothing left for her but books? The only thing left for her is to go to Kentucky and take the books that she has collected for a rural library. She goes herself is the hope that there is more to her than books. She wants to touch people with books, which is proof that she does care about people.
So Alice shows up uninvited and gets caught up in an adventure. This adventure involves how to cope without the comforts of home. She gets caught up in the middle of a murder and a town broken up by a feud between two families. She also becomes a librarian who rides a horse to the homes of poor families and learns how to be involved in the lives of people.
I can relate to reading too much, but I like to believe that I have a balance of living. This book was a good reminder that the adventure is with people and not with books.

As far as this book goes, it really wasn't a page-turner for me, which maybe helps you to not get caught up in a book. I think it took a long time for me to like the characters in this book. Alice isn't very likable until she has her big adventure and then you begin to care about her.
I recieved no compensation for this post other than a free copy of this book from Bethany House.

To Have and To Hold Bridal Veli Island by Tracie Peterson and Judith Miller

To Have and to Hold by Tracie Peterson and Judith Miller

This is the first novel in the Bridal Veil Island series. This is a fictional island near Savannah, Georgia.  The name Bridal Veil refers to how the Spanish moss on the trees look like the lace of a brides veil. I happen to love this part of the country--so I have a natural curiosity about that area. I am also a fan of Eugenia Price novels which all take place in St. Simons Island or Savannah. So the comparison occurred naturally for me. I would say this novel is not quite as epic as a Eugenia Price novel. It takes place in a shorter period of time and almost everything occurs on the island or on the nearby coastal city.

I really enjoyed the main character, Audrey. She seems lost on her native soil after returning home having been raised in the North following the civil war. Her father had moved his young family north to make a living for his family after the island and the South are destroyed by the civil war. Instead of prosperity in construction, he found a life of alcoholism and the loss of his wife. Prior to moving with her father to their ancestral home, Audrey is a household servant. She comes to Bridal Veil to be with her father in his new life of faith and sobriety. I liked that she is able to forgive her father, but is still haunted with prejudices and suspicions. I like that she has a struggle to imagine the worse and let the proposed drama get the best of her. She is also old for a heroine in this time period. She is in her late twenties and never been married at a time when most barely teens are becoming wives and mothers.

Audrey and her father in order to relieve a family tax burden begin to take in boarders as their northern friends begin to build on the part of the island that the family sold long ago. This brings many men to the island which begins the drama for Audrey. This is even more complicated by a family friend "Aunt Thora" who hated northerners especially after the war. There are opportunities for love, dealing with prejudices, mistrusting people,a mystery and dealing with loss.

Sometimes the novel seemed a little predictable like with the title you are sure there is a wedding coming.  I did like that the faith seemed genuine and a part  of their lives unlike many inspirational novels where it is sometimes seems to be in the background.

I could relate to the character and her struggles. So for me it taught me when I am to quick to figure out a situation or to judge someone when I do not have a clear picture. then I like Audrey let my imagination run wild. I need to hold by every thought captive to Christ. I'm so thankful he forgives me. Oh grace it is amazing!!

I received no compensation for this review other than the book that I did receive free from Bethany House.

A Who Dunnit!

Do you love a good mystery? I do.
 I recently read Pattern of Wounds, A Roland March Mystery by J. Mark Bertrand. I have not read many crime novels recently. I tend to read the classics, chick lit, or Christian inspiration targeted to a female audience. it was refreshing to read something that engaged my mind in trying to figure out who killed this young woman brutally stabbed by the pool. No spoilers here but I did figure it out a little bit before detective Roland March and his team.
I really liked Roland March. I have not read Back to Murder of which this book is a sequel. it was easy to get to know Roland. he is really looking for acceptance. He has found acceptance through notoriety. Yet he seems to be misjudged by all his colleagues and superiors. They think he is a rogue cop. I think he is just passionate. He has a very loving relationship with his wife, they mourn together for the loss of their only child. Yet even she tries to dress him up into the elegant clothes of her recently deceased father. Roland is not of the social or financial class of this father, so he seems like a kid playing dress up. His other issue with his wife is her new found faith in Christ that she shares with their neighbors. She pushes him to come to church. He isn't quite there yet but he seems to be wrestling on does God really control the world and if he does, why do these bad things happen to this girl in the pool, to his own daughter,his longtime missing cousin,and the people he meets along the way. The obvious suspect is the estranged husband who is trying to get it all together, but seems to "backslide" into drunkenness and brawling. Roland doubts his faith, but I think the husband is just like all of us struggling with sinful patterns that haunt us
I guess this pattern of wounds is more than the pattens of wounds on the body, it is the pattern of wounds that are past had left on all of us. Only a good God and his grace can heal these wounds. He takes our wounds.
I received this book and no other compensation from Bethany House for this review.

Great Quote-I'm done being a "Good Girl"

Good” People




Jesus offers us so many gifts. But the one we seem to have the hardest time unwrapping is the gift of grace—the gift that allows us to become who God desires us to be if we would simply trust Him and quit trying to be “good” for goodness’ sake. We are saved by grace and faith in Christ.

We become like Him by the same radical strategy. Faith that He has changed us into a new creation. And understanding the grace that gives us good gifts even when we don’t deserve them.



— Excerpted from When Bad Christians Happen to Good People by Dave Burchett

"I Want Somebody to Love"

Sometimes this is the cry of my heart. A husband, a boyfriend, a child, or even just a good friend.

My next thought is that I am so ashamed for feeling that way. He loves me and yet I ignore him. He who gave his life for me. He who sets me free. Yet I pretend so often that he is not there and go my own way. I choose isolation so often.

Sometimes my cry is "oh God but I want some one with skin Someone whose touch I can feel and who I can touch."

Yet I have many beloved people in my life. Friends, family, and precious nieces and nephews. I have been blessed much.

So often I feel like a square peg in a round hole. Round wholes are married, round holes are young, round holes are mothers, round wholes have jobs they love. Yet when my house is full, I want to be alone. Oh this fickle heart of mine.

maybe this loneliness, this feeling of not fitting is just how Jesus calls to me." People don't fill your heart, only I do. You will never be satisfied this side of heaven. Your singleness is saving you for something special, even if it beyond the grave."

Why can't I wait? Better yet, why don't I wait with Him. Jesus lover of my soul--I know you are waiting for me.

grasping Him,
Dawn

Being Free!

I feel like I have spent much of my life living up to expectations! Fortunately, I have survived. I wish we would all just see that God's grace makes us free!!! We need to rest in this!!

The following is a Blog post from Tullian Tchividjian:  The Pitfall Of Perfectionism

I recently read this from Steve Brown and had to share it with you:

She was only twenty-six years old. She was a Christian working in a church. After college she had served for a year on the mission field. I didn’t know her well, but I liked her a lot. She was a strong witness for Christ and she was an articulate spokesperson for evangelical Christianity. This morning I got the message that she had taken her life. I was absolutely devastated. I didn’t understand.

As if that were not enough, shortly after hearing about her suicide I got a call from a man who listens to my radio broadcast. “Steve,” he said, “I haven’t told anybody in the world what I’m going to tell you. I have decided to leave my wife and I told God that if I get through to you, I would do whatever you told me to do.”
I asked him what prompted him to decide to leave her.
He told me, “I became a Christian at fourteen and all my life I’ve been seeking to live up to the expectations of others. I work full-time in a ministry, I teach the Bible, and everyone thinks I’m the model Christian. I’m just tired of it. I’ve decided to do something for myself for a change.”

Let me share a letter with you that I received a couple weeks ago. There was no return address and the person gave me no name.
Dear Stephen,
Please pray for me as I am on the edge–a total failure as a Christian. I have failed as a husband and as a father. God has probably given up on me. I feel so very alone and abandoned. It’s a horrible feeling that words alone cannot describe. Please don’t judge me. Pray for me.

At first these three incidents didn’t seem related. They were just about individuals for whom I prayed. But in the silence of my prayer it dawned on me that they all had the same problem: They all had created a false standard of perfection (or accepted someone else’s standard) and concluded they couldn’t live up to it.
What advice would you give them? If you had talked to the young lady before her suicide, or the man thinking about leaving his wife, or the anonymous correspondent–what would you have said?
Most Christians would say that they should try harder. The problem is that all three already had–and they were at the end of themselves.
Others would try to help them trace their despair back to some unconfessed sin in their lives–drawing a straight line between their spiritual depression and their spiritual failure.
And still others would tell them to have faith. And yet, they discovered that the faith they needed couldn’t be turned on and off like a faucet.
But what would Jesus have told them? We don’t have to guess: “Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).
Perfectionism (or performancism) is a horrible disease. It comes from the pit of hell, smelling like rotting flesh. Someone convinced these folks that they were called to measure up to an unattainable standard. They couldn’t do it and each in his or her own way simply quit trying.

Nobody told them that Jesus was perfect for them, and because of that they didn’t have to be perfect for themselves. They didn’t understand that if Jesus makes you free, you will be free indeed.
Christian, please remember that Jesus plus nothing equals everything. That,
Because Jesus was strong for you, you’re free to be weak;

Because Jesus won for you, you’re free to lose;


Because Jesus was Someone, you’re free to be no one;


Because Jesus was extraordinary, you’re free to be ordinary;



Because Jesus succeeded for you, you’re free to fail.



Preaching the gospel is the only thing that helps us take our eyes off ourselves and how we’re doing and fix our eyes on Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith. Jesus fulfilled all of God’s perfect conditions so that our relationship to God could be perfectly unconditional.



You’re free!



Check out Steve Brown at http://www.keylife.org/ 

I listen daily and it ministers to my soul. He also has a great talk show which is hilarious as it interviews all sorts of people that make up the crazy world of Christianity http://stevebrownetc.com/

Check out Tullian's blog at http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tullian/
and his sermons http://www.crpc.org/resources/sermons/preacher/u/2/tullian-tchividjian
 

Grasping Grace,

Dawn

Children

Hey,
It is the week after Mother's day. It is hard to not be a mother in my 40's, so I try to focus on being a daughter.

I have always wanted to adopt. I'm not sure it is in my current plans but it is always in my current plans. There is a whole blog world out there about adoption and many fundraising ideas. This post is about one of them.

Some friends of mine the Thompson's are adopting from Africa, Ethiopia to be exact. They have a great passion for Africa. I have participated in the past in a garage sale and a car wash to help with their adoption. Last year when her sister adopted, they were chosen to be a fundraising family for Go Seek Love. The profits from the T-shirts every month go to a family who is adopting. May is the month for the Thompsons.

Please participate.

Grasping grace,
Dawn

Love Written in Stone

I was a little skeptical about this book. I did not really understand what Dr. Philip Carlson was trying to do. On the back cover, it is introduced as "a unique perspective to the connection between following God's guidelines and wellness in our lives" because Dr. Carlson is both a pastor and a medical doctor. It goes on to say"that he demystifies God's expectations  regarding family relationships, nutrition, sexuality, the environment and more and they are backed up by medical research.

Instead I found myself loving this book. The Gospel is central in this book and it is illustrated in all the relationships of our life. The gospel is good for us and living according to God's ways is best.

The subtitle of the book best explains it: Finding God''s Grace in the boundaries he sets. The first part of the book is Guidance for our relationship with God. Dr. Carlson thoroughly explains that sin is our problem and that we can hide from it but in doing so we destroy ourselves and those around us. Then the next section talks about forgiveness by God and how we are to forgive others. That forgiveness is good for our health and research shows it. The next section on Gratitude and Joy is amazing. The book contains within it and in an appendix many scripture on happiness and joy to reflect on. This attitude which God commands us is actually known to sustain us during depression, suicidal tendencies and other medical issues. 

The second part of the book is "Instructions for our relationships and others" . Their is an honest look at the importance of sex in the context of marriage only and on the importance of love and commitment on our families and on our society.

The third section of the book, talks about "Directions for a Healthier Self". Dr Carlson explores the importance of sleep, sabbath, and seasons of rest to the well being of our spirit and physical body. I left this part thinking that a loving God provides good things for me not to hinder me but because he loves me.

The final section talks about "Insight for our Relationship with Creation". God is redeeming not only us through his gospel but also the created world. We have a responsibility to take care of the world that God gave us dominion over.

I would recommend this book for a seeker,a new believer or just someone wants to know how God's grace impacts us, the people in our lives and the world we live in.

I received this book form Bethany House in exchange for this review. I did not have to write positive things. I received no other compensation.

Larkspur Cove by Lisa Wingate

Let me say first that I enjoyed this read. It is a very engaging novel. There are some things that I do not like about it because of it being considered inspirational fiction.

The main female character,Andrea Henderson leaves her life in Houston, to return to her parents' lake house in Larkspur Cove, an exclusive resort at Moses Lake. Since she is now a resident of Moses Lake, she and her son get to know the residents of Moses Lake and not just the vacationers. I have had this experience when I worked at local businesses at the beach two different summers in college. You begin to see the vacation paradise in a new light and that there are problems among the pretty facade.

Andrea begins working for a counselor who does long term meeting with the clients of the county child welfare program. Through this she begins to leave her country club facade behind and deal with the real issues of the society. There is great poverty on the lake. The mystery of this novel involves the town recluse who now seems to have a little girl with him wherever he goes.

Andrea and her son are damaged from the public disgrace of her ex-husband who was a church leader. Andrea arrives in Moses Lake scared and angry and afraid that she and her son can ever heal. She is bitter and she abandons the church and the most part God. I think this is a very timely subject because the facade of the perfect church is fading. I like that it shows that Christians aren't perfect, they need to be the people God is calling them to be. In this new environment they thrive as people want to be with them because of who they are and not their church position

Andrea through her work meets the local game warden, Mart McClendon. He has returned to his boyhood home to escape himself and his family. He also needs forgiveness. Primarily from his own inability to forgive himself.

So this is my dilemma, these two people find forgiveness and healing and they find the ability to be real and genuine people. I just don't like that this healing  seems to come more from their relationship with each other then from God. I like that Andrea begins to see herself as free. This freedom seems to always express it self by running into the night for clandestine meetings with Mart. Although their relationship does not involve sexual relations, making out in the dark in the moonlight just doesn't seem like appropriate behavior for the mother of someone who is reeling from his father's adultery.

I think a new man is a very worldly solution to healing and forgiveness. I wish this novel had shown the healing more from God or even a community of faith. I think inspirational fiction should point to Jesus as the healer not just a man.

I received no compensation for this review. I did receive the book free of charge from Bethany House.


Keep Reading,
Dawn

The girl in the gatehouse

I love to read Jane Austen. I think that I am a bit of a fan but yet I really don't explore her past. I have never joined a Jane Austen society (such things do exist). I know very little about the Regency period. Until reading this book, I am not sure I knew what that period of time when Jane Austen lived is called (A regent ruled in place of the actual sovereign). I also do not really read books that are written in the style of Jane Austen. There are books that retell Pride and Prejudice, add monsters, tell what happened next. I had seen books at the bookstore that were Christian versions.
As reported in a previous post, I have been given the opportunity to review books for Baker publishing. I chose this selection because of my love of Jane Austen.  The girl in the gatehouse by Julie Klassen is written in the time of Jane Austen. Most of Jane Austen's stories tell of the struggle of woman to get along in their society. Usually this involves obtaining a husband in order to secure a happy future. With the exception of Emma, the heroine does not have a prominent enough place in society to assure that is going to happen. Fanny of Mansfield Park is a poor relative. Eleanor and Marianne in Sense and Sensibility are the daughters of a happy second marriage but are left with little prospects after the death of their father and when the brother the heir takes over their home. In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth and her sisters' lack of prospects are because there are five of them and the estate belongs to a relative who is the heir because they have no brother.  Sometimes, in Jane Austen novels, some of the characters take matters in their own hands and do something that we would not be shocked by today but would be the ruin of the girl and her family in that time. These girls lose their virginity. Usually their punishment is that they are sent away. Jane Austen never tells what happens to these girls. The "good" girls end up happy ever after but what of the "bad" girls.
In The girl in the gatehouse, this is where Julie Klassen begins her story. Mariah Aubrey is sent away because she has brought shame on her family. Mariah is sent to live in the gatehouse of the estate of her "Aunt Fran" (the wife of her late uncle who is remarried and rewidowed). She is banished from her family and the neighborhood where she lived. Mariah is accompanied by her Dixon, her former tutor turned companion. These two women must start a new life with very little assistance.
What I enjoyed most about this story is that they build their own community. They take their difficult situation and start afresh. They learn to cook and clean. Mariah begins earning a living by writing which as Jane Austen herself knew was not proper for young women. Mariah like Jane Austen writes without her own name on her books.They make friends with the staff of the estate and they begin to get involved in the lives of the residents, young and old, of the poorhouse adjoining the estate. There is a man who haunts the roof of the poorhouse. Why is he there? Why is the poorhouse so close to the estate? Why is the gate locked?Dixon finds love for the first time. Mariah is not caught up in her own guilt and own misery but begins to move on and reach out to others.  These people are not the of the society that she has been banned from. Martin, who they inherit from Aunt Fran when she dies, is a man of many secret talents and he begins to change their gatehouse into a home. Aunt Fran also leaves Mariah her treasure, but what is it?
 Mariah meets the estate's new tenant, a naval captain who now has wealth but wants so much to enter the life of a gentleman. Mariah and he form a friendship that helps them both find a path to forgiveness and acceptance. In trying to find the mystery behind the locked gate, they find the path through the gate that leads to Christ. I won't reveal the mysteries of the estate and if they find love with each other. You'll have to read it to see.
I would recommend this book as a fun story of redemtion through the means of a community who accept you as you are. In doing so, they help each other find true acceptance in Christ.

I received this book free in exchange for this review, but received no other compensation.

A Poet??

So I have been tutoring high schoolers. One group of students is interested in poetry. I encouraged them to write some poetry. I also pledged to write my own. So here it is!

Renewal

He calls me, I hear his voice.
“Wake up, wake up my sleeping one, for your presence I long.
Escape the darkness, the light is coming.
I desire the sound of your melody; bring me your new song.”

I rise and escape into the night,
Walking into the darkness, I carry only a single light.
The call of the ocean roar draws me to Him.
“Come lay down your burdens, give up the fight.”

Upon reaching the shore, I see the light.
It pushes through the clouds breaks through the night.
The night ends, a new day is dawning,
The crashing waves push forward, pulling the sun burning bright.

The beauty calls forth my song. My voice I raise.
The sun’s parade of colors washes over me.
I exchange my melodious tone for the peace.
Renewed, restored, a new day, a new life I see.

Untamed!

Wild! Crazy! Me Never. I have prided myself for so long on being in control, calm, respectable.

Oh what a lie that is!! It seems that everything I have been learning lately has been about being bold, being wild, being untamed--all to be more like Christ!

Why do I always want to do the respect thing and not the right thing? Why do I want safety rather than following the calling of God? Why be a "good girl" and not goodness, kindness and all those other fruit of the spirit?

Why do I value self-protection over a good adventure?

I'm ready God ! Make me who you want me to be. take me where you want me to go! Make me Untamed!
I'm ready for battle! I'm ready to be all that you want be to be.

I'm Untamed!

DEEPER into the WORD New Testament by Keri Wyatt Kent

 This is a book that I have been reading for the last month. I haven't finished it but it is really a book that I'm not sure you would ever really finish.Let me explain. The book is a  "Reflection so 100 Words from the New Testament" so the subtitle of the book says. That is how it is set up, not in chapters except for an introduction and a closing appendix, but just one word study after another.

I recently had the opportunity to become a book reviewer for Baker publishing, so I chose this book because I had heard of the author and through it looked intriguing. I received this book from the publisher. It is not something that I would normally buy. I tend to be attracted to books that are more "psychological" in nature but they usually are the author's premise supported by God's work in their own life. I think after reading this book--I may challenge myself in what I read.

Keri Wyatt Kent understand that this book is not normal to be read and finished. She sees her book as a "tool to help you understand both the words and their context so that you can engage in the spiritual discipline of the study of God's word". She then gives three uses for her book: A reference volume to look up words you come across in your reading of Scripture, a study guide to launch your own study of specific words, and as a devotional.

For me, she does achieve these goals. I loved her word studies, and scripture really did come to life through her descriptions of the Greek words. It makes the reading of Scripture have greater depth and understanding then English gives value to it. A good test for me in reading is "Do I want to read Scripture more? Do I love Jesus more? Does this book inspire me to read other books?". I think this book motivated me to want to read the scripture and see a bigger more loving Jesus? Also I want to read many of the books that she quotes.

Secondly, this book does inspire my own desire for word study. I have all the tools that I need for word study. The appendix offers excellent resources for word study both online and in books. I have done some word study through courses I have taken in the past and  through some Kay Arthur Precept Studies. I have seen the value in them, but I must admit I stop the process when the study is over. My Vine's Concise Dictionary and my Strong's Exhaustive Concordance are gathering dust on my book shelf. So this book reminds me of the value of stopping and looking at the words when reading the word.

I think I mostly used this book as a devotional. I have been a Christian for many years so many of these words are par to f my everyday vocabulary. However, I think there is deeper meaning to them and these words need to grow in meaning in my life. I must say here that I do not always agree with Mrs. Kent's conclusions. I think we come form very different doctrinal views. I think God plays a bigger part in our salvation and we play a smaller part--but I can still learn from her. I think this book would be an excellent tool to mentor a new Christian or someone just beginning to regularly read the Scriptures for themselves.

So what will I do with this book? I will first continue to use it as a devotional. I'll get it out in my own personal study or a group study when we are discussing the meaning of the words. Then I want to use it as a guide in my own word study.

I think that not matter where you are in reading the word, this would be a good tool to have to expand your reading of the scriptures.

Fiesta!!

I have a love affair with dishes.

 I would love to collect all kinds of dishes, but I tend to limit it to Fiestaware.

 It is a little bid crazy--my love of Fiestaware.

 It started with My Great grandma's house as a little girl.

She had this cabinet where she kept all her dishes. There they were in all their bright, multicolored glory.

 I think my Grandma Bates's house to me always represented home and safety. We never lived nearby growing up. We were always the out-of-town grandchildren.

Grandma Bates's house is where people gathered.

You'd walk in and she always started feeding you.

She always said she had nothing to eat--but things would start coming out of the refrigerator.

 Lunch meat first, then the home-made noodles that she made the other day, the homemade rolls, and she did have a few pies lying around somewhere.

Then there was always some special treat in the cookie jar for the children.

The children of course my siblings, my cousins, my mom, her siblings, her cousins. My Grandma and her siblings. We were all children at Grandma Bates's house.

My whole life she always lived alone (minus a two year journey to her daughter's house--which resulted in her moving back home alone)--yet she always cooked and cooked and cooked.

I live alone and I only cook when I have to take food somewhere or if I think someone may come over. Maybe she was just always welcomed people into her home.

So my great-grandma died a few days shy of my thirtieth birthday. Most everyone wanted the cookie jar, I wanted the Fiestaware(it was original but chipped--the value was in my heart).

all was auctioned off to strangers

A few years before that I started buying Fiesta ware.

Usually serving piece seconds at a pottery outlet.

Then I started getting serving pieces for holidays from my family.

Then when I bought my house-my Mom started buying me place settings.

Then my sister and friend did too. The collection grew.

In the last few years, I have stopped buying much, mostly because I have more than my little house will hold.

Yet, I want more.

I tend to be pretty conservative and pretty country cottage in my decorating style.

So the Fiestaware to me is my little bit spicy

.I think it is my personality coming out--I want to be a little bit sassier than I am.

I guess there are worst ways to express this than through dishes.

Leading Lady?

I love the movie The Holiday.

There is some immorality that I don't approve of but I like the idea that you can get away from your comfort zone and make a change in your life.

For Kate Winslet's character, she is escaping her ex-boyfriend who she is still in love with and to whom she is stuck as the best friend. She meets an old Hollywood screen writer and begins a journey of self-discovery. The screenwriter explains to her that in movies there are best friends and leading ladies.

She begins to ask herself is she the leading lady in her own life.

 I think this is a question that I need to ask myself.

Do I star in my own life and not just be the side-kick?

I'm not talking about being selfish,but being the person in my life who takes action.

I find that often my life events are because of other people.

 Other people's feelings for me, other people's wants, and other people sins.

I even have trouble deciding where to go out to eat and often just go with the flow.

So how do I balance not being selfish with starring in my own life?

 How do I take more risks?

 How do I be a responder and not always the giver?

Do I even let myself be captivated by God's love?

I think I need to take a risk and be the leading lady, in my life, in some man's life and even to God.

 I am His and He is mine.

Two old Friends!

OOPS!!! I can't believe I said that. I can't believe they came out of my mouth. I cannot believe I said that to someone I adore. I thought I was only annoyed but out came all my anger. There they were those two old friends--still with me--still inside of me--still waiting to fire dastardly darts at whoever gets in my way.

I have always been a good girl--yet for some reason I have always struggled with cursing. I in fact have always called it my revealing sin--when they start to trip out I realize that I need to submit to God--that I am off track.

Yet why today--I feel that I am growing closer to God. I am really understanding the power of the gospel in my life.

I guess the truth is that my true sin is not that I let the two old friends come to visit--but that I thought I was too much of a good girl, too righteous to say them.

Oh Lord forgive me for my self-righteousness. Thank you that I need a savior, not for my past, but for my present and for my future. Thank you that the gospel is for me-whether I'm being good or cursing like a sailor.

I pray for restoration of my relationship with this person you have blessed me with.

Grasping  His Grace and My Sin,
Dawn

Table for One

I am single. I am 43. This is not what I thought my life would be. It is the gift that God has given me for this time. I am open to it changing anytime.


Married people like to tell me that my life is easy. Sometimes I think it is. These same married friends tell me about them not being able to balance their checkbook, mow their lawn. Things that they do not know how to do and their husbands do for them. I just try to figure all of these things out for myself.
February and all the talk of love, can be a hard time. I try to love on some other people to not be caught up in the love hype.



I recently read a blog about how hard it is to want a baby and all your friends are having them. For me singleness is also about infertility. The children your heart longs for and you are pretty sure that you will never have.

I am obsessed with adoption blogs. I have always longed to adopt. I am not sure it is right or good to do this on you own. Plus I never seem to be in the right place in my life.

Sometimes I just want to go out to eat or spontaneously go to a movie--but who wants to do it by yourself. I know those with children don't get to do these things either, but a night with the kids sounds dreamy.

Not that I don't like the perks of being single. Watch what you want. Stay up all night reading. Sleep when you want to. Hog all the covers. Getting to be the aunt--who my nieces and nephews call to entertain them or play with them.

I want to be loved. I am so loved by God--yet I am not that great in basking in his love. Would I really believe that someone loved me if they did.

I want someone to love. Yet I am terrible at showing those I love that I do. Plus I do not adore my Lord as I should. Yet he loves me.

I think the hardest part is that you are going through this life alone. I am surrounded by family and friends. I believe in the power of the body of Christ to work together. Some times the loneliest part is leaving somewhere and seeing families leave and its just you.
People talk of taking care of their parents--and I wonder how I will do this. I tease my nieces they need to take care of me when I am old. Yet I do fear this.

I know this is a sad post but sometimes I just have to be honest. I have loved many things about my life thus far. I will still love my life if I remain single, if I never adopt children. I just want to admit that the longing is there.

Loved by Him,
Dawn

A New Year, A New Word?

So I heard this idea on KLOVE radio station to come up with a word as a goal for the year.

Last year my word was Welcome. I decided it after the fact but it kept coming to me thoughout the year.

So I have been playing around with what words I want to aim to be more like this year. I keep coming back to Lover or Transparent.

I think I am going to settle on "Lover", not in any sexual way at all, but I just want to Love God more--I want Jesus to be my passion. I also want to pour into people by loving them where they are and using my life and experience to build into them.